Cass

Move over 50 Shades of Grey - the most erotic words ever written were brought to life on last week.

Picture the scene:

Fearing for his life, undergoing a string of complicated cardiac tests, the sexgod that is Cass is finally told that he will have to have an angiogram.

Now add Marks n Spensers music.......

'We insert a catheter through your groin' 

Ohhh, yeah........

'Someone will be up to shave you' 

THAT'S the stuff.......... There is no image more divine than the thought of  Cass having his little balleens shaved. mmmmmmmm. Also, said balleens are tantalisingly close to being on show - in his sexy little nightgown. Not enough people wear nightgowns, but thankfully Cass the clothes horse is doing all he can for the cause. Cass is both a clothes horse and HUNG like a horse. True story - you can see his bell end swinging just below the bottom of his nightgown. 

Lucy is balls out crazy. Basically everyone who speaks to Delores is on her hit list. Neil's turn now. I'm not sure what she is trying to achieve, but she is trying to get Rachel Brennan to perv on him, and then telling people that he was smoking joints in front of the kids. Pretending she's getting prank calls and getting Bob in on her lies. The thing is - get the fuck oooonnnn with it already. Fair City just love slow burners like this. It's already going on and on and on and on and on and on. So far Lucy is getting on great in her quest - whatever the fuck it is. Obviously she's obsessed with Delores - but IS it in a tuna bumpin way? Is it for the want of mothering? Does she just love being a weirdo? The fuck?

Then, it turns out that Charlotte only acts like an asshole because no one fancies her. Eh, then stop being so fucking ugly! Also, you're basically a pack of gyppos, find an attractive cousin like any good mink and be done with it. Other news - I think she is sterile, this is the kind of thing Darwin wrote about, this is for the greater good. I am not usually in the corner for childhood cancer - but in this case GO CANCER!!  

JOE'S back!!!! I love her and I have missed her dearly. It also means that we get more screen time with the delightful little gobshite that is their son. This is a kid who is fast losing their kid cuteness, but still playing a really young child. The little tardo wants the parents to get back together. When what I really want is for Dermtsch to get that svelte new figure out there and let the primary teacher sit on it!