ROUND UP

ROUNDUP

• Dermot has lost some amount of weight. No explanation, no nothing. Just stopped being a fat bastard. Here's hoping it's for an upcoming sex scence!!!! SPEAKING of Dermot and sex scenes:

• WORST sex talk in history on TV tonight

Dermot: You're not sick after my HOT cousine? (YES, the tool pronounced it hot)
Meave: No, but I WAS kept up all last night
Dermot: There is nothing worse than a sleepless night.........(long pause)
Meave: I really (VERY emphasised that one, closed eyes and all) enjoyed myself last night
Dermot: Did you get that curry stain off your shirt? ( I'd see a doctor if I was you Dermy :o, should NEVER be brown.........)
Random foster child: You should try a Sunday Roast, they're always great (Little WHORE joining in on them, inviting herself for a spit roast, doesn't she know what the spit roast is soooooooooo last year - it's all about the Eiffel Tower these days. Just imagine that..........)

• NOBODY has ever taken an adoption as badly as poor old Finn. No adoption story has ever been so badly told either. I think the writers wrote the whole background story etc, and forgot that they never actually filmed or showed it. He went straight from shouting UBER dramatically at Moley headed Keet 'YOU'RE NOT MY BROTHER' to having met his adopted mother. Eh, HOW did you find out you were adopted? How did you go straight from Ireland to New York and find your real mother? No years of searching NOTHING? I know sometimes you find out it's a small world - but that's when you meet your neighbour abroad in Spain, NOT when you randomly meet the woman who birthed you, while on holiday. Tip of the shittily planned out cap to you again Fair City

• They are really trying to play Renee off as a real 'go getter' these days. Tit's out, arms gesturing, roots done, hangbag held like a briefcase. Looked like bone city there for her n Bob, but it turns out Bob can no longer get it up for anything other than revenge, after the nasty go he had at her in the Bistro I doubt he'll be fiddling with the buttons of her manky MANKY 80's power suits.

• THINGS TO PONDER:

Louis's hair - Justin Beiber's real father?

Ingrid's bronzer and highlighter - fuck me, they really do geunderstand glamour on FC..........

Carol LOVING saying 'wha' at the end of a sentence. Sweetheart you do NOT need to remind of us your skanger roots, the big mauldy tinker head on ya does that for us.

AND FINALLY

• I have a feeling Fair City might have gotten itself in a bit of bother........ You really CAN'T use the phrase 'fighting like tinkers' now that gyppos are oh so popular!! They'll be heaving themselves from the halting sites, reality T.V camera's in tow to get revenge on that one!  Plus, tinks are FOREVER having brawls at free wine tastings, one of their favourites - up there with scraps during high tea and a few leisurely thumps while watching the tennis..........

Travelleher's rites is humin rites, boss.